01.31.2012 "Be My Penguin"

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my nephew's pre-school as a volunteer. The teachers, not wanting to bore the children with an analysis of medieval French literature or a survey of quantum physics,  centered their lesson plan on arctic animals. Inventive.

A part of my morning involved playing a game with my nephew called Penguin Pile-Up. Each player takes turns (or not, if you're four years-old) setting small, plastic penguins on an unstable plastic iceberg. Social commentary on the global warming conspiracy that's way over the heads of pre-school'ers? Probably. Keep stacking those pengiuns, kids. Keep stacking until there are no more plastic icebergs floating around the North Pole.

All education aside, let's focus. Thanks to pre-school, I now have this song in my life. If you thought you loved penguins before, think again. Check yourself.

01.30.2012 SAG Awards Best Dressed

I've watched the red carpet specials, I've seen the top ten lists, and I've been regularly impressed by the sophisticated fashion choices of Hollywood's elite. Yet something about it all just seems the same, awards show after awards show. Last night's Screen Actor's Guild awards changed that.

Source: The Washington Post

Let's all stop sneering about how the ladies from the cast of Glee should be dressing their age, or at least dressing like the age of the high school'ers they portray on television. Let's stop dwelling on the fact that Angelina Jolie looks good in anything (she does, so let's get over it). 

Let's take a moment to appreciate an icon that is "age appropriate" in the best way possible. Betty White. Looking good and actually winning an award. Killing it.

01.29.2012 Super Bowl 2012 Geography

With one week to the Super Bowl, I would like to draw attention to the geographical conflict of interest at hand. The New England Patriots call Massachusetts home, and the New York Giants (though they foolishly play in the state of New Jersey), well, they are in New York. Look at a map:

Source: EnchantedLearning.com

Who's in the middle? That's right. Poor Connecticut and Rhode Island. You know the situation. It's the family road trip, and Connecticut and Rhode Island are the younger sibling in the middle seat of the back bench in the minivan. When the bigger kids in the seats with real cross-the-shoulder seat belts start fighting, they're involuntarily subjected to the feud. 

I will choose to view them as neutral territory. Super Bowl Switzerland. Let the people of both states be free to select the team of their choosing. And if somebody does not want to support either team because their favorite team was wrongly taken down in the Play-Offs, let them be.

And, no, I'm not still bitter about the end of the Green Bay Packers' season. 



01.28.2012 Google Doodle

A good Google Doodle can make your day as you open the morning search engine, and it can set the tech blogs ablaze with speculation (because there's clearly nothing more fascinating than a Google Doodle). Frequently, the Doodle also provides new perspective on obscure history. They say you learn something new everyday, and thanks to Google, I just learned (after clicking a few links... knowledge isn't just handed to you, after all) that the world's largest snowflake on record is 15 inches in diameter. Hopefully I have now shared this knowledge with a few more people. You're welcome.

And look at that silly, confused cow. Isn't it just so cute? Oh, Google. You just know how to make a girl smile.

Google: 125th Anniversary of the Largest Snowflake

01.27.2012 Disney Welcomes Facial Hair

If people really could take the word's out of another person's mouth, Paul Hamilos at The Guardian is one strategic, sneaky thief (I picture George Clooney in "Ocean's 11," but that's not important.). Couldn't have expressed this better myself. No, seriously. If there is one time to actually follow a link to a news article, this is it.

"Disney's anti-beard tyranny is not quite overthrown yet"

 Source: Walt Disney World

It's only right that families can go to Splash Mountain and be assisted into an oversized log vehicle by a guy in an exaggerated (and historically inaccurate) "old West" outfit with an exaggerated "old West" moustache (and by exaggerated, I mean of the appropriate moustache length under a quarter inch).

01.26.2012 Bear Fights

Puma fought the bear, and the bear won.

Let me also just say...
1. This video is mislabeled. The bear is actually fighting a cougar. Puma might have stood a chance, but we all know that cougars can't handle bear fights.
2. I'm a little only a little shocked that this video has over 3,000,000 views. Shocked, but not too shocked.
3. While I'm fascinated by actual bear fights, the best bear fight is the one that people of legal drinking age order at a bar (where bartenders actually know what a "bear fight" is).

01.25.2012 State of the Union Aftermath

The State of the Union address is an American tradition that is as time-honored as irrationally disliking Canadians or gathering to watch the Super Bowl (actually, I think the Super Bowl might be slightly more popular).

AP Photo

And what's more fun than listening to our President talk about how awesome our country is while sporadically pointing out random Americans by name and telling us their personal stories to distract us from the questionably biased view of how awesome our country is? The State of the Union Fact Check.

Here's the round-up of my favorite articles:

"AP Fact Check Blasts Obama's Do-Nothing State of Union 'Wish List' (FOX Nation)
"Fact check: Obama's State of the Union Address 2012" (USA TODAY)

"A State of the Union Guide for Socialists & Racists" (Huff Post)

Or, if you don't feel like reading articles and want only one thing to take away from last night's address, enjoy the genius of Patriot's WR Chad Ochocinco:

 Like I said, professional football has polluted our nation's politcal competency. Guilty as charged.

01.24.2012 Green Nail Polish

You heard it here first. Green is the new "it" color for spring nail polish. Let's clarify that I'm pretty sure I predicted it before I looked it up on Vogue, but they just give me a little more credibility.

Chanel #407 Jade

Are your simple nails of pink and red getting envious? Perhaps, one might say they're getting green with envy. Sudden urge to get started on that spring gardening? Early onset green thumb. One more, you say? Okay. You probably don't have the green to afford Chanel nail polish, but chances are that Sally Hansen can hook you up.

01.23.2012 "Pennies from Heaven"

After a one-week hiatus, I feel it only appropriate to return with a song. We left off with the Robbie Williams jam "Angels," and I will continue along a similar theme with Louis Prima's "Pennies from Heaven."

Multiple reasons for this selection:
(1) Found a penny on my flight into Chicago yesterday.
(2) One of my favorite songs off the Elf soundtrack (yes, I own the soundtrack to the major motion picture Elf, and I listen to it year-round).
(3) Can't miss a chance to show off one of these YouTube videos where people play the record on one of them old-fashioned record players. It's a little awkward, but it's a whole lot of fantastic.

01.16.2012 "Angels" by Robbie Williams

Classic.

01.15.2012 Jenga

This is a game that can transcend all differences and really tear down barriers. When Packers fans and Giants fans can join over a stack of small wooden blocks on the day of their NFL Divisional Playoff match-up, you know it's powerful.

And as one gets older, the skills used to approach this game become more refined and technical. Relieved when you successfully slide that side block off the bottom row? Not so fast. The choice on where to place this block at the end is just as important. Secret shared. Up your game.

Hasbro: Jenga

01.14.2012 Ace Hotel NYC

Next time you find yourself visiting New York City, there's really only one place to stay. Ace Hotel on W. 29th and Broadway is where you need to be. As the near embodiment of the word "hip," it may not be the place for everybody. In a way, though, maybe it's your chance to redefine yourself, trade in the tourist fanny pack, and be cool (or keep the fanny pack and redefine the fanny pack as "cool").

Ace Hotel New York City

Even the small, "cheap" rooms (not pictured here... but go with it) are comfortable and awesome, complete with Polaroid camera at your disposal (I already called this place "hip," right?).  And when you're cruising out at night in your heels and club gear, you almost aren't surprised to find a line of people outside waiting to get in and party in the lobby.

Then again, you might love it so much that you never leave. A view of the Empire State Building and a cloud-like mattress almost kept me away from the city, but I couldn't disappoint New York like that. Plus, I needed new clothes to wear as I made my entrance and exit from the hotel. So hip.

01.13.2012 Twitter Stalking

Which comes the first, the Facebook friend request or the Twitter follow?

(If you question the absence of a Google+ circle add from this question, I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. And if you're wondering about Myspace, you need to check yourself.)

01.12.2012 Red Velvet Cheesecake

For having a fairly overwhelming menu, The Cheesecake Factory knows their business. And even though I constantly question who actually makes it to the cheesecake part of the meal, we all know which flavor is best. Red velvet takes the proverbial cake, and I say this with no shame for the intentional pun.



The Cheesecake Factory

I mean, just look at that picture. If I hadn't just finished half a slice in what was likely a very un-ladylike 30 seconds, I would say it looks delicious. I'm feeling a pretty content stomach ache at the moment, but I think I remember it looking delicious when I first pulled the to-go box out of the refrigerator. 

01.11.2012 Pre-Fall 2012

Fashion 101. The two major designer runway seasons are fall and spring. Fall runway season displays the looks for the spring, and spring runway season displays the looks for... awkward silence while I wait for you to volunteer the response, because it's obvious enough that I don't need to ask... Yes, spring runway season is showing off the new looks for fall!

Spring fashion weeks have yet to begun, but the Pre-Fall (yes, Pre-Fall, as we discussed earlier) are previewing. Still have yet to see full collections, but I've found my favorite. Burberry Prorsum, you win. Just like Alabama in the BCS Championship (Football 101 is an entirely different topic for a different day), you win.

Burberry Prorsum

Vogue.com

1.10.2012 "How were your holidays?"

For those of us in the working world, this phrase is the most common question around the office in the week after New Year's. When you're filling up your morning coffee or waiting for a report at the printer, it's the best way to break that awkward silence with the people you rarely speak to unless venturing beyond the walls of your cubicle.

Better than the "how's your family?" and the "what did you do this weekend?," the "how were your holidays?" line has an extended shelf life and generally produces a positive response (you'd be surprised how many people have bad weekends or less-than-newsworthy families to speak of). However, there reaches a point when you can no longer play the vacation card.

The time is now approaching when routine conversation about the unpalatable taste produced by the Reagan-era coffee maker and the irregular two-sided printing on the copy machine must return. Let's hope "How was your Martin Luther King, Jr. Day weekend?" can fill this void.

PartyPro.com



01.09.2012 The Bachelor

If you know me, you know I like The Bachelor. Two weeks into the season, and I think I "like like" The Bachelor. Let's not sugar coat things. It's a little too soon to say "I love you" (though I'm guessing we'll be there by the home town dates).

This season, the drama is beyond ridiculous, the type-casting is beyond predictable, and Ben Flajnic (pronounced like "panic" with an "f," contrary to my initial pronunciation when I didn't know the "j" was silent) is, well, he's not married. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Until I remembered that my favorite Tumblr site would be updated on a weekly basis once again. World, if you haven't met already, I'd like to introduce you to "Forever Alone: Faces of Rejected Bachelorettes."

Is it a coincidence that BBC World News happens to feature the article "Why is the US marriage rate falling sharply?" on the same night that they air a fresh episode of The Bachelor? I think not.

01.08.2012 Blue

Some people will work their entire lives to achieve what Blue Ivy Carter did within less than a day of being alive. Yes, being a trending topic on Twitter is a major life accomplishment (anybody can win a Nobel prize or an Olympic gold medal these days, so let's set the bar a little higher on life accomplishments, people).

However, the real story here isn't the birth of Blue Ivy Carter. Everybody knows the story at this point (if not, here's a link to an especially informative collection of stories)...

The Huffington Post

No, the big story of the day is the victory for the color blue. Similar to how Gwyneth Paltrow made it cool to name your child after a piece of fruit, Beyonce and Jay-Z just upgraded blue from being a color that works as a common noun and adjective. Congratulations, blue. You are now a trendy proper noun.*

 

 

 

*If played in a game of Scrabble, "blue" can (and must) be challenged if used with the intent of being a proper noun.  

01.07.2012 Chinet

No party is complete without it. No person is immune to its powers. No other plastic dishware can match up (we'll leave the red Solo cup out of this fight). Here to stay and here to carry your housewarming's novelty M&M's. On behalf of Chinet I say, you're welcome.

01.06.2012 Where The Party At

No words are necessary.

01.05.2012 Parents Telling Lies to Their Children (at the Request of Late Night Television Program Hosts)

I'm guessing that parenting magazines don't cover this kind of thing (or numbers are really low on parenting magazine subscriptions):

"I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy"

"I Gave My Kids a Terrible Present (Part 1)"

If not for the brilliance of Jimmy Kimmel Live and the latest video in the above series, we would not learn these valuable lessons:

1. Children are very easy to trick and very easily upset when tricked.
2. Parents clearly enjoy tricking and upsetting their children and have an abundance of free time these days with which to trick and upset their children, film it, and upload it to Youtube.
3. The rivalry between the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears is a very real and very serious problem.

01.04.2012 Jam Jar Wine

I'm generally a fan of clean, modern design for all products. This bottle of wine? No question. I'm also a fan of sweet wines. This bottle of wine? No question. Even better than the fact that this wine looks good and tastes good, it also costs good... And by that grammatically incorrect statement, I mean that it is sold at a reasonable price.

If you're not sold yet, I'd like to also add that this is a screw top bottle of wine, perfect friend of the girl without a cork screw (me). If only I had that wine glass holder necklace from SkyMall...

Cape Classics Wine

01.03.2012 Iowa

According to ABC News, "The Iowa caucus has had about a 50 percent 'success' rate when it comes to predicting the nominee, meaning that roughly half the time the winner in Iowa goes on to secure their party’s nomination for president." You know what else has about a 50% success rate (or failure rate if you're a "glass half empty" kind of person)? Flipping a coin.

So who is the real winner of the Iowa caucus? Iowa, the great Hawkeye State, for doing something with 50% accuracy and still managing to be relevant.

Wikipedia

01.02.2012 SkyMall

Not only is SkyMall the best way to wait out that time when all your electronic devices are powered down and stowed, but it introduces us to some of the greatest products that the world will never know (and probably also never need). To be fair, for every product that you don't need, there are at least two that you don't need but would consider looking for in a store (does anybody actually buy from the catalog?) to purchase as a gift or an ironic statement piece to show of to your friends.

Example: Wine Glass Holder Necklace (did I mention that my birthday is in a couple of days?)

www.skymall.com

01.01.2012 Matt Flynn

We all know he killed it for the Green Bay Packers in their 45-41 win over the Detroit Lions, but it would appear there is much to learn about the man and the mystery that is Matt Flynn. For example, in the "Personal" section of his Wikipedia page, there is a noticeable absence of the mention of a girlfriend. I'm just saying.

(AP Photo/Jim Prisching)

Today's Runner-Up: Aaron Rodgers (for managing to make the bench look good, and because it's too ironic to not make him Matt Flynn's back-up for the first, and possibly only, time ever)