08.30.2012 Street Parking Standards

Instead of making this a story about my first experience with street parking in New York City, let's not put the focus on my near panic attack driving around the Upper East Side and instead focus on the nature of street parking in Manhattan.

I'm not going to park somewhere with a MuniMeter (who pays for street parking?), and I'm definitely not parking in a garage (we're not even going there). Hence, I found myself driving back and forth on the one-way streets between 1st and Park Ave., slowing losing my mind the further north I migrated. By the time I reached the 80s (street numbers, not the decade, though I'm not sure why I'd need to clarify that), I had started hallucinating open spaces where fire hydrants, driveway entrances, and bags of garbage overflowing from the sidewalks would eventually stop me.

Then, I park. Floating gracefully above the front of my car was a simple sign, much like this one:

It's a Thursday night, and I am parked under a sign that would quite clearly tell most people that you won't be able to keep your car there through the following evening, which was my intention. In the momentary insanity induced by the parking spot search from hell (even worse than a suburban mall during the holiday season sales), I decided that a broom through the "P" was not the same as a normal "no parking" symbol.

My car is still sitting under this sign, and I will be moving  my car in the morning. Who cleans streets from 11 to 12:30 on a Friday anyways?

08.29.2012 Stew Leonard's

There was once a time when I lived in a magical place called Connecticut. And in this magical place, there was a magical grocery store called Stew Leonard's. It's a store with a petting zoo, singing food robots, and the most incredible selection of cupcakes. It claims to be the "World's Largest Dairy Store," so what's not magical about that?

It would make more sense if it were in Wisconsin (America's Dairyland/coolest state ever), but that's a separate point.

And if you ever happen to pass a Stew Leonard's during "Hoedown" season, you must stop in. Don't want to ruin the surprise, but it's totally worth it..

08.27.2012 mint.com

You know what's great about only getting a paycheck once per month? Nothing.

After spending an entire month watching your bank account slowly deplete into nothingness, pay day is as sweet as a PayDay. You know. The candy bar? I can't honestly say I've ever particularly enjoyed it as much as a Snickers or Twix, but that actually works. By this point in the month, I've gotten as desperate for money as a moderately hungry person would have to be to tolerate a PayDay bar.

Back to the point. One weekday each month, I am happy for a weekday (doesn't include national holidays, vacation days, and basically any other weekday I'm not in the office). One weekday each month, I re-visit mint.com and marvel at how much fun it is to realize I have no money!

If you've never visited mint.com, it's time to get there. Some people may freak out knowing there is one site that knows all of your banking account information and person information, but I say "you help me budget the amount of money I want to spend on 'Alcohol & Bars' each month within your array of features? Here are my passwords! And let's raise that limit by borrowing some money from my 'Groceries' budget!"

I've had a mint.com account for well over a year, and I love it. I love it almost as much as I love having enough money to set some aside in the 'Goals' feature. Let's just say that "Trip to Tahiti" may not happen for awhile...

08.27.2012 Besse Cooper

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear oldest person alive Besse Cooper!

Happy Birthday to you!

All I have to say is Besse Cooper was older when the actual Titanic sank than I was when I first saw Leonardo DiCaprio in "Titanic." Supercentenarian. Yeah, that sounds about right.

08.25.2012 Nicholas Sparks

Nothing beats a Saturday evening spent watching young Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth fall in love over baby turtles and sand volleyball from the comfort of your apartment. Outside the standard "I can't believe they're engaged" and "I can't believe that new haircut," all I could think was, "this movie is going to have a depressing ending."

I've gotten Nicholas Sparks figured out. First, he pulls you in with an over-the-top, basically unrealistic love story. Then he layers in a few obstacles to that love story (includes everyone's favorite "wrong side of the tracks" social class excuse), which can be paired with a bit of over-the-top, basically unrealistic melodrama. Then, it gets depressing. When you deal with Nicholas Sparks, somebody usually dies. It's only a matter of who that'll be.

This is when I've recently decided to do the following: never read the books (no change to my normal behavior) and only watch the movies up to the point when the couple is happily in love. Then, be done with it. Additional rule: avoid "The Notebook" at all costs.