Jay-Z's 99 Problems

I really don't need to explain. This Tumblr page of daily illustrations to highlight each of Jay-Z's 99 problems is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. And I've seen some pretty cool things, if I do say so myself. Side note. The brain freeze. I hear that.

  

"99 Problems: Even World Famous Rappers Have Problems" by Ali Graham

"Potted Potter"

Harry Potter fans are a rare breed of fan. We, myself obviously included, delight in the idea of a parody show chronicling the seven-year and seven-book adventure of our favorite boy wizard, not hesitating at the chance to spend 70 minutes giggling at literary inside jokes.

Seriously, when's the last time you laughed at the questionably duplicitous morality of a fictitious professor in the course of potion-making? Or a dragon hand puppet? Don't ask questions, just appreciate that these were not out of place and worth it for the price of admission if you consider yourself a fan.

Potted Potter NYC

Otherwise, you may not see the entertainment in the sheer intensity of grown men running about with a beach ball that they've been told to imagine is part of an equally imaginary Quidditch game. No. There's no way that isn't funny, even if you've never heard of Harry Potter. Worth it.

"Potted Potter" NYC: Little Shubert Theater, 422 West 42nd Street (30 May - Sept. 1)

More information at: www.pottedpotter.com/nyc

Heat Wave Fashion

With expected temperatures in the 90s in New York City for the entire upcoming week, it's time to reassess my wardrobe. My youth and young adult life in the state of Wisconsin did not prepare me for this, and my extensive collection of sweatshirts, corduroy (yes, corduroy) pants, and long underwear (YES, long underwear) are proof enough of that.

So what better excuse to go shopping than unreasonably, though apparently not unseasonably, hot weather? Here's what I've found:

1. Bikini: We wear them at a public beach, so I think they should be socially acceptable in all public places. I don't actually agree with that statement, but this weather is making me say crazy things.



"How I Met Your Mother," fanpop.com

Columbia "Global Adventure Dress," REI.com

2. Wicking Fabric: Sweating isn't fun and feeling sweaty is equally un-wonderful. Though I love the idea of letting clothes do all the work, it seemed nearly impossible to find anything remotely good looking made from this wonderful material. Columbia's "Global Adventure Dress" was the closest I could get to non-hideous, but no amount of wicking could make up for how painful it is just to see sleeves of any length on a dress right now.

I'd like to point out that I think "Global Adventure Dress" is quite a bold title for Columbia to place on this, but I'll let it slide for throwing in a zip pocket.

3. Barely There: If you're willing to draw a few judging stares and shaking heads of disapproval in your direction from the decidedly more conservative crowd, pair this dress from Nasty Gal with a good deodorant, and you're seriously good to go!

I'd also like to make a point on the fact that pretty much anything you find from Nasty Gal is just barely there enough to be comfortable in any unbelievably warm location, whether it be public transportation or an annoyingly hip nightclub.

  

NastyGal "Lush Life Dress," nastygal.com

Though you're likely get a range of looks for wearing any of the above in this weather, I'm personally going to advocate for the bikini tee. Let's make that happen.

"Toddlers and Tiaras"

Every time I watch this show (which has become more frequent than I'd like to admit), I am so incredibly entertained. But at the same time, I feel incredibly compelled to call my parents and thank them for never subjecting me to childhood beauty pageants.

So make sure you say hello to your mother for me after you watch this.

Soda Shaq

Add this to the list of reasons why Shaquille O'Neal is the greatest. And why he was an entirely legitimate choice for my childhood hero... not even despite Kazaam but because of it.

AriZona

"AriZona Beverages is known for its big cans and big value, so a partnership with the 7'1" big man was a no brainer." -AriZona Press Release

Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Ale

Spending my Fourth of July weekend in Maine means that you must be subjected to hearing about my vacation. Perhaps seeing the full slideshow of pictures isn't what you're looking for, so I'll instead try to make this worth your while. Let's skip talking about the whole vacation and go straight to talking about the beer.

I always knew that Maine was a haven for lobster-lovers, but I had never before heard that blueberries were a thing in "The Pine Tree State" (... and pine trees? Who knew?). So when in Maine, do as tourists assume residents do and eat/drink as many blueberry products as you can! The blueberry pie was great and all, but I'll stick with beer. Thanks, South Portland, ME!

BeerPulse.com

Boone's Farm

Thanks to a price reduction at the local market, an old friend was brought back into my life. It's been since my collegiate years that we've been acquainted, but I was reunited with Boone's Farm wine this weekend and felt as though we'd never been apart.

Who can dislike a flavored citrus wine like Strawberry Hill? And, more importantly, what market is so unappreciative of this fine flavored citrus wine that they would apply a discount on its sale? Nobody puts Boone's Farm in a corner... or on a clearance shelf. That's all.

Fiat 500 "Italian Invasion"

To continue my theme from yesterday, I decided to take a look at how the advertising industry has taken our day of appreciation for the freedom we have as Americans and made it into a selling device. Because nothing screams, "let's spend our discretionary income on little imported cars!" better than this commercial. And though I'd like to say I'm entirely critical, there's honestly something about this that, while I don't love it, I can't seem to hate it.

I mean, in this director's cut of the television spot, the final line of "This is going to start a revolution," is replaced by "This is going to be so much better than the tea party." Need I say more?



Also... hey, look it's that girl that was on America's Next Top Model that one season!

"Party in the U.S.A."

Happy Independence Day's Eve! Our country's founding fathers would turn over in their graves if they heard me suggest that listening to this song is an appropriate way to kick off your celebration of America's freedom. But then again, you've got your hands up, they're playing your song, and you know you're going to be okay. (It's a party in the U.S.A. after all.)

The Future

Let's go back to the future. As in, let's take this blog to the next level, let's get philosophical, let's talk about the great unknown of the years ahead, and let's appreciate this opportunity to use this image from a "Back to the Future" film. If anybody knows the future, it's Doc Brown.

"Back to the Future Part II," 1989

After deciding that a Sunday afternoon was the perfect time to randomly stop in with a psychic, I couldn't help but consider the profound thought that, "hey, I just paid some random woman to look at my hand and tell me nothing specific about my life that I couldn't have just made up myself."

I didn't expect to hear every detail about my future, nor did I want to hear every detail about my future. Does anybody want to hear "you will be surrounded by the love of ten cats in your lonely future?" And I mean no offense to somebody that considers a feline-filled future to be a good one, but I'd rather just leave things open to interpretation and keeping holding onto that glass while it's still half-full.

Let me keep trying to predict what teams are going to win in the NCAA tournament and be entirely wrong. Let me be convinced that I know who will win "The Bachelor," even without reading the spoilers online. Let me tell myself that I will never end up living with ten cats... Nine, maybe. But ten? Never.

"I Want You Back"

I know, N Sync. I know. And I so very desperately want to BE back.

Also, let me just say... can't get over those outfits. Let's bring THAT back.

Historicism and Fashion

Yes, I said it. Historicism and Fashion.

You all have been deprived of posts from me for long enough. Thanks to fashion school, I have been out of commission for the last few months. And thanks to fashion school, you are now going to be subjected to a final project from one of my classes. Enjoy the assorted images without context, as I'm certain you will.

Hiatus

Gone for now but not gone forever... As if you'd be able to get rid of me that easily.

Win $75,000 and Get Tackled by LeBron

Not only did you just make a half court shot, Michael Drysch, but you made that half court shot without any proper shooting form at all whatsoever and ended up winning $75,000 for it. Oh, wait. Did you also get tackled (and lovingly hugged to the ground) by LeBron James for making that shot?  Yes, that happened. Watch it happen.

I'm actually just impressed that LeBron was even watching the trivial activities the Miami Heat had planned during the clearly less important non-game moments. But just like those of us that go to professional basketball games, he just wanted to see some entertainment that most actual games of professional basketball cannot provide. The Heat beat the Detroit Pistons 110-88 that night. I rest my case.

Beer Can Appreciation Day

On this day in 1935, Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company first made beer available in metal cans. I won't comment on the fact that this momentous event in our nation's history occurred in Newark, NJ and will simply take this moment to display and appreciate the first beer can.  Things to note: the can provided the same amount as the bottle, and this "special" beer was best served cool. All very useful information if you ask me. Today's brewery giants should take notes.

Who says I can't make this blog entertaining and educational at the same time? And before you make some smart comment about this blog not being entertaining in the first place, hold your tongue. Not cool. Beer Can Appreciation Day is a time when people unite and come together, not tear each other down.

Maison Martin Margiel for H&M

Might be old news, but please check out these boots. Though the majority of items on sale from the Belgian design house were a little out of my price range and style comfort zone (e.g. white puffy coat that looks like a sleeping bag with sleeves), I can't help but admire the idea of a chic plexi heel and also can't help but impulsively scope for any discounted pairs floating around online.

This simply begs the question: If the heels are invisible, are you really wearing heels at all?

"Bossypants" by Tina Fey

This book has certainly been out for awhile now, but there are many reasons why I feel that now is an appropriate time for this post.

(1) I haven't pushed it on you yet, which is a shame. I love to push books on people, but these books are infrequently of any interest to others despite what I tell myself. Hence, because this book is actually good and probably very interesting to most general readers/non-readers, it's a shame I haven't forced you to immediately sit down and read it. Example quote (and brilliant life advice):

"Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone."

(2) Tina Fey's brilliant brain child of a television show, 30 Rock, is coming to an end this month. Yes, "brilliant" is used quite subjectively, which I acknowledge. However, it's a funny show that has actually earned a few reputable awards in the industry. Don't ask me to list the awards, because I probably couldn't. Just know that I know that it won awards and is actually very funny. I'll miss not watching the show live on television in favor of a lethargic Saturday afternoon Hulu viewing, and therefore believe that I should also give some credit to her book.

(3) I was recently shopping at the Barnes & Noble on 5th Ave. and W. 18th Street and noticed something absolutely spectacular. I don't know who was in charge of putting books on display, but something tells me that we would get along really well. That's "Bossypants" on the right with the yellow cover:

I think Tina Fey would approve.

The Harbaughs

In case you missed the latest news from the National Football League, we have ourselves a Super Bowl. The San Francisco 49ers will take on the Baltimore Ravens in New Orleans two weeks from now on February 3rd (mark that one down on your calendars now... and probably just take off work the following Monday for good measure).

Source: New York Post

That's really not the whole story here, either, because the 49ers are coached by Mr. Jim Harbaugh, while the Ravens are led fearlessly by Mr. John Harbaugh. Did you catch that? Same last name. Brothers. While it's great and cute that they'll be heading into the Super Bowl together, making their parents proud and all, but I can't help but wonder how their sister Joani feels about all of this.

On an mostly unrelated note, any opportunity to see people overuse the word "bro" is always okay with me.

The Sundaes

Couldn't resist following a post titled "The Saturdays" on a Saturday with a similar play on words for Sunday's post topic. Sunday. Sundae. It's happening. And after it happens, I'm going out to buy some ice cream.

 I was also inspired by a recent trip to a Ghirardelli's, where I ordered the Gold Rush Sundae, fell in love (I blame the peanut butter), and started to then think about the other sundaes in my life that just play hard to get and narrowly escape my love. It's probably for the better.

Shake Shack. That's all. Their custard and concretes are incredible, but you need to get on those sundaes if you haven't. I swiped the following photo from the blog of LPKHeartsFood, and even though the original post is over 2 years old, the magic of a Shake Shake Sunday is timeless. I hear you, LPK.

 

Next? Serendipity's Golden Opulence Sundae. With the $1,000 price tag, this better be one amazing sundae. I'll probably never eat one, but a girl can dream about the Tahitian vanilla ice cream, chocolate truffles, and 23-carat gold leaf. They require 48 hours notice to create one, so at least I'm protected from any impulsive decision making (not to mention a frequently depleted bank account).

The Saturdays

Saturdays are the greatest, right? It's just after Friday, and you still have the entire day of Sunday left for your weekend! I strategically chose to make this post on a Saturday, but it's not about those Saturdays.

These days, you can't tune your television to the E! network, exclamation point and all, without feeling the overwhelming crush of propaganda for their new show "Chasing The Saturdays." I initially resisted their attempts to make me love this group of Spice Girls wannabe's (subtle reference to the Spice Girls song "Wannabe" intended), but I changed my tune.

I don't want to admit that I like them, but the first step is admitting you have a problem. I actually like The Saturdays. It's a problem. I've already been judged for liking One Direction, so it's not like I have far to fall. Enjoy their song "What About Us" as much as I openly admit that I do:

Lesson learned. Don't judge a British girl group by their similarities to other former British girl groups.