Jay-Z's 99 Problems

I really don't need to explain. This Tumblr page of daily illustrations to highlight each of Jay-Z's 99 problems is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. And I've seen some pretty cool things, if I do say so myself. Side note. The brain freeze. I hear that.

  

"99 Problems: Even World Famous Rappers Have Problems" by Ali Graham

"Potted Potter"

Harry Potter fans are a rare breed of fan. We, myself obviously included, delight in the idea of a parody show chronicling the seven-year and seven-book adventure of our favorite boy wizard, not hesitating at the chance to spend 70 minutes giggling at literary inside jokes.

Seriously, when's the last time you laughed at the questionably duplicitous morality of a fictitious professor in the course of potion-making? Or a dragon hand puppet? Don't ask questions, just appreciate that these were not out of place and worth it for the price of admission if you consider yourself a fan.

Potted Potter NYC

Otherwise, you may not see the entertainment in the sheer intensity of grown men running about with a beach ball that they've been told to imagine is part of an equally imaginary Quidditch game. No. There's no way that isn't funny, even if you've never heard of Harry Potter. Worth it.

"Potted Potter" NYC: Little Shubert Theater, 422 West 42nd Street (30 May - Sept. 1)

More information at: www.pottedpotter.com/nyc

Heat Wave Fashion

With expected temperatures in the 90s in New York City for the entire upcoming week, it's time to reassess my wardrobe. My youth and young adult life in the state of Wisconsin did not prepare me for this, and my extensive collection of sweatshirts, corduroy (yes, corduroy) pants, and long underwear (YES, long underwear) are proof enough of that.

So what better excuse to go shopping than unreasonably, though apparently not unseasonably, hot weather? Here's what I've found:

1. Bikini: We wear them at a public beach, so I think they should be socially acceptable in all public places. I don't actually agree with that statement, but this weather is making me say crazy things.



"How I Met Your Mother," fanpop.com

Columbia "Global Adventure Dress," REI.com

2. Wicking Fabric: Sweating isn't fun and feeling sweaty is equally un-wonderful. Though I love the idea of letting clothes do all the work, it seemed nearly impossible to find anything remotely good looking made from this wonderful material. Columbia's "Global Adventure Dress" was the closest I could get to non-hideous, but no amount of wicking could make up for how painful it is just to see sleeves of any length on a dress right now.

I'd like to point out that I think "Global Adventure Dress" is quite a bold title for Columbia to place on this, but I'll let it slide for throwing in a zip pocket.

3. Barely There: If you're willing to draw a few judging stares and shaking heads of disapproval in your direction from the decidedly more conservative crowd, pair this dress from Nasty Gal with a good deodorant, and you're seriously good to go!

I'd also like to make a point on the fact that pretty much anything you find from Nasty Gal is just barely there enough to be comfortable in any unbelievably warm location, whether it be public transportation or an annoyingly hip nightclub.

  

NastyGal "Lush Life Dress," nastygal.com

Though you're likely get a range of looks for wearing any of the above in this weather, I'm personally going to advocate for the bikini tee. Let's make that happen.

"Toddlers and Tiaras"

Every time I watch this show (which has become more frequent than I'd like to admit), I am so incredibly entertained. But at the same time, I feel incredibly compelled to call my parents and thank them for never subjecting me to childhood beauty pageants.

So make sure you say hello to your mother for me after you watch this.

Soda Shaq

Add this to the list of reasons why Shaquille O'Neal is the greatest. And why he was an entirely legitimate choice for my childhood hero... not even despite Kazaam but because of it.

AriZona

"AriZona Beverages is known for its big cans and big value, so a partnership with the 7'1" big man was a no brainer." -AriZona Press Release

Sea Dog Blueberry Wheat Ale

Spending my Fourth of July weekend in Maine means that you must be subjected to hearing about my vacation. Perhaps seeing the full slideshow of pictures isn't what you're looking for, so I'll instead try to make this worth your while. Let's skip talking about the whole vacation and go straight to talking about the beer.

I always knew that Maine was a haven for lobster-lovers, but I had never before heard that blueberries were a thing in "The Pine Tree State" (... and pine trees? Who knew?). So when in Maine, do as tourists assume residents do and eat/drink as many blueberry products as you can! The blueberry pie was great and all, but I'll stick with beer. Thanks, South Portland, ME!

BeerPulse.com

Boone's Farm

Thanks to a price reduction at the local market, an old friend was brought back into my life. It's been since my collegiate years that we've been acquainted, but I was reunited with Boone's Farm wine this weekend and felt as though we'd never been apart.

Who can dislike a flavored citrus wine like Strawberry Hill? And, more importantly, what market is so unappreciative of this fine flavored citrus wine that they would apply a discount on its sale? Nobody puts Boone's Farm in a corner... or on a clearance shelf. That's all.

Fiat 500 "Italian Invasion"

To continue my theme from yesterday, I decided to take a look at how the advertising industry has taken our day of appreciation for the freedom we have as Americans and made it into a selling device. Because nothing screams, "let's spend our discretionary income on little imported cars!" better than this commercial. And though I'd like to say I'm entirely critical, there's honestly something about this that, while I don't love it, I can't seem to hate it.

I mean, in this director's cut of the television spot, the final line of "This is going to start a revolution," is replaced by "This is going to be so much better than the tea party." Need I say more?



Also... hey, look it's that girl that was on America's Next Top Model that one season!

"Party in the U.S.A."

Happy Independence Day's Eve! Our country's founding fathers would turn over in their graves if they heard me suggest that listening to this song is an appropriate way to kick off your celebration of America's freedom. But then again, you've got your hands up, they're playing your song, and you know you're going to be okay. (It's a party in the U.S.A. after all.)

The Future

Let's go back to the future. As in, let's take this blog to the next level, let's get philosophical, let's talk about the great unknown of the years ahead, and let's appreciate this opportunity to use this image from a "Back to the Future" film. If anybody knows the future, it's Doc Brown.

"Back to the Future Part II," 1989

After deciding that a Sunday afternoon was the perfect time to randomly stop in with a psychic, I couldn't help but consider the profound thought that, "hey, I just paid some random woman to look at my hand and tell me nothing specific about my life that I couldn't have just made up myself."

I didn't expect to hear every detail about my future, nor did I want to hear every detail about my future. Does anybody want to hear "you will be surrounded by the love of ten cats in your lonely future?" And I mean no offense to somebody that considers a feline-filled future to be a good one, but I'd rather just leave things open to interpretation and keeping holding onto that glass while it's still half-full.

Let me keep trying to predict what teams are going to win in the NCAA tournament and be entirely wrong. Let me be convinced that I know who will win "The Bachelor," even without reading the spoilers online. Let me tell myself that I will never end up living with ten cats... Nine, maybe. But ten? Never.

"I Want You Back"

I know, N Sync. I know. And I so very desperately want to BE back.

Also, let me just say... can't get over those outfits. Let's bring THAT back.

Historicism and Fashion

Yes, I said it. Historicism and Fashion.

You all have been deprived of posts from me for long enough. Thanks to fashion school, I have been out of commission for the last few months. And thanks to fashion school, you are now going to be subjected to a final project from one of my classes. Enjoy the assorted images without context, as I'm certain you will.

Hiatus

Gone for now but not gone forever... As if you'd be able to get rid of me that easily.

Win $75,000 and Get Tackled by LeBron

Not only did you just make a half court shot, Michael Drysch, but you made that half court shot without any proper shooting form at all whatsoever and ended up winning $75,000 for it. Oh, wait. Did you also get tackled (and lovingly hugged to the ground) by LeBron James for making that shot?  Yes, that happened. Watch it happen.

I'm actually just impressed that LeBron was even watching the trivial activities the Miami Heat had planned during the clearly less important non-game moments. But just like those of us that go to professional basketball games, he just wanted to see some entertainment that most actual games of professional basketball cannot provide. The Heat beat the Detroit Pistons 110-88 that night. I rest my case.

Beer Can Appreciation Day

On this day in 1935, Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company first made beer available in metal cans. I won't comment on the fact that this momentous event in our nation's history occurred in Newark, NJ and will simply take this moment to display and appreciate the first beer can.  Things to note: the can provided the same amount as the bottle, and this "special" beer was best served cool. All very useful information if you ask me. Today's brewery giants should take notes.

Who says I can't make this blog entertaining and educational at the same time? And before you make some smart comment about this blog not being entertaining in the first place, hold your tongue. Not cool. Beer Can Appreciation Day is a time when people unite and come together, not tear each other down.

Maison Martin Margiel for H&M

Might be old news, but please check out these boots. Though the majority of items on sale from the Belgian design house were a little out of my price range and style comfort zone (e.g. white puffy coat that looks like a sleeping bag with sleeves), I can't help but admire the idea of a chic plexi heel and also can't help but impulsively scope for any discounted pairs floating around online.

This simply begs the question: If the heels are invisible, are you really wearing heels at all?

"Bossypants" by Tina Fey

This book has certainly been out for awhile now, but there are many reasons why I feel that now is an appropriate time for this post.

(1) I haven't pushed it on you yet, which is a shame. I love to push books on people, but these books are infrequently of any interest to others despite what I tell myself. Hence, because this book is actually good and probably very interesting to most general readers/non-readers, it's a shame I haven't forced you to immediately sit down and read it. Example quote (and brilliant life advice):

"Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone."

(2) Tina Fey's brilliant brain child of a television show, 30 Rock, is coming to an end this month. Yes, "brilliant" is used quite subjectively, which I acknowledge. However, it's a funny show that has actually earned a few reputable awards in the industry. Don't ask me to list the awards, because I probably couldn't. Just know that I know that it won awards and is actually very funny. I'll miss not watching the show live on television in favor of a lethargic Saturday afternoon Hulu viewing, and therefore believe that I should also give some credit to her book.

(3) I was recently shopping at the Barnes & Noble on 5th Ave. and W. 18th Street and noticed something absolutely spectacular. I don't know who was in charge of putting books on display, but something tells me that we would get along really well. That's "Bossypants" on the right with the yellow cover:

I think Tina Fey would approve.

The Harbaughs

In case you missed the latest news from the National Football League, we have ourselves a Super Bowl. The San Francisco 49ers will take on the Baltimore Ravens in New Orleans two weeks from now on February 3rd (mark that one down on your calendars now... and probably just take off work the following Monday for good measure).

Source: New York Post

That's really not the whole story here, either, because the 49ers are coached by Mr. Jim Harbaugh, while the Ravens are led fearlessly by Mr. John Harbaugh. Did you catch that? Same last name. Brothers. While it's great and cute that they'll be heading into the Super Bowl together, making their parents proud and all, but I can't help but wonder how their sister Joani feels about all of this.

On an mostly unrelated note, any opportunity to see people overuse the word "bro" is always okay with me.

The Sundaes

Couldn't resist following a post titled "The Saturdays" on a Saturday with a similar play on words for Sunday's post topic. Sunday. Sundae. It's happening. And after it happens, I'm going out to buy some ice cream.

 I was also inspired by a recent trip to a Ghirardelli's, where I ordered the Gold Rush Sundae, fell in love (I blame the peanut butter), and started to then think about the other sundaes in my life that just play hard to get and narrowly escape my love. It's probably for the better.

Shake Shack. That's all. Their custard and concretes are incredible, but you need to get on those sundaes if you haven't. I swiped the following photo from the blog of LPKHeartsFood, and even though the original post is over 2 years old, the magic of a Shake Shake Sunday is timeless. I hear you, LPK.

 

Next? Serendipity's Golden Opulence Sundae. With the $1,000 price tag, this better be one amazing sundae. I'll probably never eat one, but a girl can dream about the Tahitian vanilla ice cream, chocolate truffles, and 23-carat gold leaf. They require 48 hours notice to create one, so at least I'm protected from any impulsive decision making (not to mention a frequently depleted bank account).

The Saturdays

Saturdays are the greatest, right? It's just after Friday, and you still have the entire day of Sunday left for your weekend! I strategically chose to make this post on a Saturday, but it's not about those Saturdays.

These days, you can't tune your television to the E! network, exclamation point and all, without feeling the overwhelming crush of propaganda for their new show "Chasing The Saturdays." I initially resisted their attempts to make me love this group of Spice Girls wannabe's (subtle reference to the Spice Girls song "Wannabe" intended), but I changed my tune.

I don't want to admit that I like them, but the first step is admitting you have a problem. I actually like The Saturdays. It's a problem. I've already been judged for liking One Direction, so it's not like I have far to fall. Enjoy their song "What About Us" as much as I openly admit that I do:

Lesson learned. Don't judge a British girl group by their similarities to other former British girl groups.

Vikas Sapra

Recently discovered on Thefuture.FM, Vikas Sapra is now one of my new favorite sources of music magic. If you want to get an idea for what I'm working with here, get started with this little masterpiece:

Vitamin C Mixtape

Thefuture.FM

Yes, it's over an hour and a half of your life, but I'm not asking you to sit and stare at your computer for 100 minutes, people. Go about your life. You know what, don't just go about your life. Listen to this, and you will definitely, like me, feel the need to start partying. Then again, I always assume that everybody is partying on a Friday, so get a drink and... go about your life.

Jeremy Lin and VOLVO

It feels like just yesterday that I was simply gushing over this new guy in the NBA and eagerly purchasing a #17 "Lin" tee-shirt from the nearest tourist gift shop in Manhattan. You know, the Harvard boy that went from living on his brother's couch in NYC to getting serious court time with the New York Knicks before getting injured and moving on to the Houston Rockets? Yeah, that's the guy. (Note: I still own that Jeremy Lin Knicks shirt, and I still wear it... more frequently than I should admit to.)

Well, looks like he's not doing too badly these days considering I almost lost my cool when I unexpectedly saw him featured in this recent Volvo ad, appropriately titled "The Unexpected Ones." Will it make me buy a Volvo? No, probably not. But will it make me go digging around on YouTube to find the ad and re-post it in my blog? Obviously.

And will it then lead me to browse a few other related videos and re-post this one, titled "How to Get Into Harvard," which makes me fall in love with Jeremy Lin all over again? Yeah, this is happening. (Another note: during the selfie webcam segments, check out the sick Latrell Sprewell poster behind Jeremy Lin. Just saying.)

Sprinkles Cupcakes

Some might say that the cupcake craze has hit its peak and will soon be replaced by another gourmet novelty dessert item. I say, why replace the cupcake craze when you could just add more gourmet novelty dessert items to the line up? Trendy Twinkies revival, anyone? Until then, you can have your cupcakes (and eat them too).

The Sprinkles chain has stores in many major metropolitan cities in the United States, all of which are home to demographics that likely value a gourmet cupcake with a premium price tag. I'm not complaining, because these cupcakes are little works of art that actually taste as good as they look. It's the perfect fix when you're on a temporary (or permanent) sugar kick.

But let's focus for a moment, and let's discuss flavors. I'll never turn away the classic red velvet and have a certain attachment to the genius chocolate marshmallow, but then there are the limited time offerings (darn you, Sprinkles, for forcing me to stop in at least once per month to try new flavors!), which includes this month's beauty: S'MORE. Yeah. Hello, toasted marshmallow.

And, upon perusing the Facebook page for the New York location, I discovered a fun flavor surprise for tomorrow, and tomorrow only: The King returns! Not as in "The Lion King" but as in Elvis Presley (his nickname was "The King," just so we're all clear on that), for those that were interested in the source of inspiration for the banana cake and peanut butter frosting confection that I will most certainly be eating at some point tomorrow... 

"Los Angeles Overreacts to Cold Temperatures"

I saw this video recently posted by a few friends of mine and noticed a trend among which of those friends did the posting. I can't say that I have a lot of friends in southern California, but there was a dominant representation of those residing in the Midwest and various other "cold weather" places.

At first I thought it was simply due to the Milwaukee shout out in the beginning and then decided it must be due to the ridiculous nature of the response to these temperatures. Obvious deduction, right? Then, I thought about it further and realized that it comes down to a matter of pride.

While vacationing in sunny Florida this previous weekend, I noticed myself looking down my nose at the people commenting on the morning temperature of 60 as "a little chilly." I began to sense superiority when others discussed the high near 80 as "good jeans weather," while I wore as little clothing as public establishments (and personal comfort) would allow. Returning to the cold of the Northeast was a good reality check, and I feel that I can almost relate to what you're about to watch below (or have already seen if you know the video).

I am from Wisconsin, and I am proud of my cold weather tolerance. People in LA need to calm down. I'd say that Midwesterners likely view this video and feel a similar sort of superiority as I felt while appreciating a warmer climate, but we're better than that.

Golden Globes 2013 Red Carpet

Now that I've had time to process what I saw from last night's award show red carpet, I don't want to say much. I just want to admire a few of my favorites while I sit here in my sweat pants and New York Knicks tee-shirt.

(1) (2) (3)

(4)  (5)

(1) Jessica Alba, Microsoft Windows Phone Spokesperson, in Oscar de la Renta
(2) Jennifer Lawrence, Golden Globe Winner (and overall winner in life), in Dior
(3) Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck's Baby Mama, in Vivienne Westwood Couture
(4) Megan Fox, Mrs. Brian Austin Green, in Dolce & Gabbana
(5) Michelle Dockery, of Downton Abbey (and cause of much jealousy), in Alexandre Vauthier Couture

Absence

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder... let's see how true it is when I go absent from my blog for a day.

Dole Whip

Now I'd like to be clear when I say that I'm not typically the kind of person to take pictures of their desserts and certainly not the person that takes these photos and shares them with people. Great, you're eating something that you want to remember. Even better, you want everybody else to know that you want to remember it. No, I swear, I really don't judge those kinds of people...

In my case, I want only to share the joy of this particular dessert item and leave readers with the aspiration to one day experience this frozen delight for themselves. For those of you that already know Dole Whip, well, you probably understand where I'm coming from here. You can back me up when I say that Dole Whip is totally rad (and totally deserving of the resurrection of that adjective).

Truly a little bit of heaven on earth, this non-dairy frozen soft serve is made by Dole and available in orange and pineapple. Though only served in a limited number of locations, it's worth a trip. I doubt any of you will be planning a visit to a Dole plantation any time soon (where are those, anyways?), so put it on your to-do list if/when visiting Disneyland in California or Disney World's Magic Kingdom in Florida.

My recommendation? Swirl with vanilla, and it is perfection... as well as a perfect item for any emotional eating habits in which must participate after the loss of your favorite team in the NFL Playoffs. Trust me. I know.

"Walk This Way" by Aerosmith and Run DMC

It's a Friday night. If you're not out already, you should be going out. If you're not planning on going out, you should either go out or at least make sure you have decent alternate plans (promise me that you have good alternate plans!). While I can't control what you're doing on this Friday evening, I can still at least suggest a song for your Friday evening plans, whatever they may be. Please just allow me that. A mere suggestion isn't too much to ask, is it?

No surprise what song I'm recommending, though I will admit that this choice may not appeal to everybody. Tough luck. Go on Youtube and search that new Ke$ha song or something instead. See what I care! Anyways, for those that enjoy the original Aerosmith song and/or subsequent classic collaboration (again acknowledging that I use the word "classic" subjectively) with Run DMC, you likely haven't listened to it in in awhile. As I realized today, also having not heard this track in far too long, it's a shame. It's pretty great (in my opinion).

Though the video is listed under the Run DMC YouTube channel, it really is more of an Aerosmith gem in my mind. Then again, what does it matter? Turn the song on, turn it up, and, go ahead, walk that way... even if you still can't decide whether that means to walk in a particular manner or to walk in a specific direction. Think about it.

In-Flight Magazines

About one year ago, I wrote a post about the joys of my favorite in-flight catalog, Sky Mall. But today, as I am again fresh from a travel experience, I could not help but be inspired by the items contained in the seat back, at which I stared for about 3 hours. Beyond safety and evacuation procedures and the air sickness bag, I became intrigued by the remaining in-flight magazine.

I do not care to dive deeply into the content of this month's Delta "Sky" magazine (original publication title for an airline, though I doubt there's much room for creativity). I do not care to comment on the repetitive nature of this content over the many years of flight history, because I recognize that it must also be difficult to really branch out beyond recommending the newest hot spots in various random cities to which you never seem to be traveling (where's the highlight on Milwaukee, huh?).

What is it that really caught me, then? Honestly, it's the cover talent. All I kept wondering about was what John Krasinski was thinking when they told him he'd landed the cover of 'Sky' magazine... I imagine he said something to the tune of, "I'll bet Matt Damon doesn't have to take photo shoots for in-flight magazines."

Study: Lower Voice, More Children?

Who doesn't love facts and statistics? While out this evening, a particular study was brought to my attention (that I initially doubted) regarding a correlation between the pitch of a man's voice and the number of children he has.

After a very diligent Google search using the terms "low voice more children," I found it to be true. This study exists. Honestly, that's all. Not only is it true that men with lower voices have more children, but it's true that somebody actually conducted and documented this research. (Don't believe me? Here's an article from BBC. If BBC says so, it must be true.)

With that, please enjoy the sounds of Barry White, a man with whom no other man's voice can compete:

Giant Squid (Architeuthis)

When I heard news that they had released the first live images of a giant squid (Architeuthis, if you want to get scientific) swimming off the coast of Japan earlier today, I was terrified. I mean, I'm incredibly thrilled for modern scientists and this incredible documentation of one of the ocean's greatest creatures and all, but I had enough trips to the museum as a child to know that I am instantly scared of even the thought of a giant squid.

The part of the museum dedicated to the giant squid was usually very dark (obviously replicating their natural habitat in the darkest depths of the sea), which is scary enough. Then, the exhibits show this beast to scale. I say "beast," because they're known to be upwards of 30 feet in length, tentacles included, and up to 450 pounds. I'd suggest a diet, if I wasn't concerned I would become part of it. The giant squid is scary, and that's all I have to say.

But despite my own fears, I feel it is appropriate to allow you all to admire (at your own risk!) the now famous (yet terrifying!) photograph to which I have been referring:

Source: NHK/NEP/Discovery Channel/AP

I know, it doesn't make me feel any better about giant squids (or swimming in any open body of water, while we're at it). However, this second photo makes me feel much better! Look at the cute little squid being friends with the deep sea diver! Okay, now we can all sleep better tonight. You're welcome!

Source: Etsy (MrFox Amigurumi Crochet Patterns)

BCS National Championship: Notre Dame vs. Alabama

Just look at that score, and you'll understand why I think it's a wonder that Notre Dame was even in this game (not to mention how it's a wonder that it wasn't a shut out).  Let's all hope for a better match up next year, please.

The California Raisins

Today marked the first evening of my recreational volleyball league and also began my weekly return to the hallowed halls of a high school and return of less-than-pleasant memories of high school gym class. How does this tie back to the California Raisins, you ask?

Well, our assigned high school for this week's game clearly hasn't refreshed their inspirational and motivational posters collection in a few years (or decades, likely), and there was definitely a sizeable banner near the gymnasium featuring the urgent plea of a California Raisin to maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle. As we all know, today's high school students are obviously very open to life advice from singing pieces of dried fruit that originated in a marketing campaign older than they are. Obviously.

This poster got me thinking back to the California Raisins, to the cassette tape I owned as a child of the fictitious sunglasses-clad group singing Motown classics, and to the fabulous claymation commercials like this one.  Eating healthy has truly never been so soulful.

Essie "Good to Go"

The reader's familiarity with the title of this post is likely an indicator that a broader audience may have less interest in the subject matter. If, due to unfamiliarity, you've used the picture as a guidepost for the content of today's writing, you've likely figured out that we're talking about nail painting. Excellent work, detective.

Source: essie.com

When the economy took a hit, there was a noted increase in the sales of nail polish as people turned away from pricier salon manicures in favor of mastering nail bling skills on their own. As a person that appreciates a good change in nail color, I know the stress of the nail painting routine, particularly the agony of the drying process.

Nail salons will use space age contraptions that expose your delicate hands to a special blue light that supposedly makes the paint dry faster, but you better believe I'm not buying one of those for my apartment (nor would I even know where to begin looking for one). Instead, I have hoped to expedite the process by waving my hands in the air as though trying unsuccessfully to take flight, and I have also been guilty of using my own breath to attempt a speedy completion of the task at hand. Pun intended.

But even as you delicately attempt to go about your day, you are bound to never have dry nail polish just as soon as you would like. The inevitable happens, and before you are sure that the nails are finished, you have just smudged that polish on any number of objects in your home (or beyond the walls of your residence, if you so boldly decide to leave in such an uncertain state), and it is time to start again.

All I can say is that after buying a bottle of Essie "Good To Go" top coat, I no longer have this issue. I had always denied my need for such a thing but cannot imagine painting my nails without it. Not only have I gotten a few minutes back in my life in which I no longer need to invent ways to dry my nail polish on my own, but it also just makes my nails look damn good. 

MoMA Free Art Fridays

Once upon a time, I lived and worked in the city that Target built. Well, considering Target was founded in 1900s and Minneapolis is definitely a little older, I should probably take that statement back. Either way, Target loves Minneapolis. Minneapolis loves Target. It's mutual. And while in Minneapolis, I recall loving "Free Art" nights at The Walker Art Center,courtesy of everybody's favorite mass merchandiser from the Midwest.

Well, little did I know this program had been extended into my very own backyard at one of my very own favorite modern art museums!

For those of you that reside in the Big Apple or are making plans to visit the City That Never Sleeps, it's already assumed that you'll be arranging a visit to the Museum of Modern Art (otherwise know in acronym form as the MoMA), so why not stop in free of charge? On Friday evenings from 4:00 to 8:00 p.m., you can explore the wonders of Picasso and Mondrian on Target's dime. And if you don't like art very much, the place has very comfortable benches and clean bathrooms, so that's good too.

The line may be long (as in, around the block from 53rd Street, up 6th Avenue, and back around to the 54th Street entrance), but the line moves quickly. Bring hot cocoa and a friend, or just the cocoa if you don't have interesting friends, and it'll be worth the wait.

Downton Abbey

Yes, I know. I'm really behind the times on this one. Forgive me for not jumping aboard the Masterpiece Theater bandwagon EVERY time there's a new drama series involving British accents, Maggie Smith, and references to the Titanic. This time, however, I will admit that I was wrong to wait.

The show is basically a Jane Austen book but with more scandal and seemingly more realistic (not that I know what it was like to live in England's high society prior to and during the beginning of World War I, but I always thought those Austen novels were a little too much sometimes). Plus, there are some decent looking, chivalrous male characters with teeth that would make you think British people actually have great teeth. I'll take it.

And for those of you that, like me, have yet to experience the wonders of the series sometimes mistakenly called "Downtown Abbey" by random people (or friends of mine that really added that second "w" on their own for what they considered logical reasons), the entire first season is now on Netflix. You can lock yourself in your home and become a captive audience for the hours of intrigue, romance, and, of course, Maggie Smith.

"Ultimate Fails Compilation 2012"

On this, the second day of the New Year, we can all take a moment to look back again at this video compiling the biggest recorded fails of 2012 to (1) be thankful we aren't in any of these clips and (2) resolve that we will not end up in any sort of similar compilation at the end of 2013.

For those of you that actually find yourselves in this video, I apologize and wish you a most successful 2013.

Jane Goodall

Instead of focusing on the BCS's "Granddaddy of Them All," the Rose Bowl (and its less than successful outcome for my alma mater), let's turn our attention to one of the Rose Bowl's most honored traditions: the Rose Parade. Each year's parade is led by the Grand Marshal, and this year's festivities were graciously presided over by Dame Jane Goodall, renowned chimpanzee researcher and primatologist. And yes, she is a "Dame." It's official.

My favorite part of this is probably her response to finding out that she was named Grand Marshal: "When you grow up in England and spend all your time in Tanzania ... I hadn't heard of the Rose Parade. It was only gradually that I realized what a big honor it is." (Los Angeles Times). Nice work, Dame Jane.

Source: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images North America